The Art Con

Everyone knows about the ‘Some people are gay. Get over it’ poster by Stonewall. And when you search for it on Google Images it comes up with these massive billboards in broad daylight on your Average Joe street. I have never witnessed such a thing. I never believed they actually existed in real life until last week. So I present to you this tube poster:

This was taken ever so discreetly on my travels by my handy ol’ phone. Or at least I tried to be discreet but the guy next to me wasn’t trying to be discreet and was obviously looking at what picture I was taking. Anyway, I’m just confirming that it does indeed exist in the real world. 10 points to whoever can guess what line I was on.

The Simpsons Movie really is like one long Simpsons episode. A really really long Simpsons episode.
There’s a Toy Story 3! I guess that’s old news though, but I only found out just now. And according to IMDb it’s about ‘Woody, Buzz, and the rest of their toy-box friends are dumped in a day-care center after their owner, Andy, departs for college. Meanwhile, Hamm, Rex and Mr. Potato Head begin a quest to find their long lost twin brothers.’ I’m willing to go along with whatever Pixar want to do. Andy all grown up…twin brothers…3 headed cyclops. Anything.
The L Word Season 5 Living TV 2 on Tuesday 23rd September at wait for it. Wait for it…wait for it. 10pm. Miracle, I know. Who knew it would show so early.

How to draw a panda.
Sometimes a bunny is smarter then the magician.
Photoshop makes aliens.

Excursions to the Apple store. Not the most exciting trips on earth. Hotel key On the odd occasion where I am forced to go I find myself getting bored very easily. So, me being my little immature self I have some cheap fun by playing around with the iPods and such. Changing the languages, writing little notes on the iPhone saying ‘Apple sucks’, and locking them with random passwords makes the time pass by much quicker. You should try it. Or not. I mean, only if you’re bored.

Crazy Bones ‘Things’ are the best little toys ever. Things And if you’ve never heard of them, then where were you? These things were as viral as Top Trumps, Pokémon, potatoes. Even potatoes. I used to own millions of them. Well, not quite millions. If I owned millions then you probably wouldn’t have been able to see the floor. And as far as my memory of my childhood goes, the floor was pretty visible. One thing I learned though by reading that website, is that there’s an actual game that you’re supposed to play with them. Who knew. They just looked cool to me.

How to draw anything (in 1 step). Now, I can draw anything.

I think some congratulations are in order. I’m actually watching the Olympics closing ceremony. Live. On BBC1. Mind you, someone did remind me, but still. This has never happened before. This is history in the making. Someone owes me a medal or something.
Anyway, this is the point where the Brits do their little takeover ceremony. Beckham kicking a football on a double decker bus, Leona Lewis singing. I’ll be there in front of the TV, throwing cheese at it. Lots and lots of cheese.

I made an Amazon wish list today. I don’t know why, nobody can actually buy stuff for me from there since my address isn’t up. I can’t even buy stuff for myself from that account since I don’t have a credit card. But it seemed like a good idea at the time. It might just come in handy one day.

The closing ceremony doesn’t exactly have my undivided attention, i.e well I’m writing this aren’t I? But I don’t think it’s ever going to start. I’m here to see the flying people, so give me flying people already. They’re attempt at squishing 2 weeks worth of ’sport’ in half an hour/an hour/who-knows-how-long-really is getting a bit too boring. If I wanted to see that, then I could just watch all those highlight videos on the BBC website. That’s how my coverage of the Olympics has been anyway. They were playing Madonna a minute ago.

Altoids don’t taste very nice. Who likes cinnamon sweets?

There’s a human catapult out in the world somewhere. According to the site it says ‘It’s available to rent in Germany.’ Let’s all go to Germany people. Or, we can just make our own, then we won’t have to go to Germany, and we won’t have to rent it. So we can get some magic elves to work on that, and in the mean time, we need to decide what exactly we’ll be launching ourselves in to. The Germans use theirs to plunge into a pool or a foam pit. I’m thinking chocolate (melted obviously) pool, a ball pit (like the ones in Clown Town or the ol’ Kidstop), a trampoline, anything. But hopefully something that won’t hurt when you land.
So, anyone know any magic elves? I would use mine but their working on another project at the moment. What is that you ask? Well, that my friend I cannot tell you. The idea hasn’t been patented yet so it has to be kept under wraps for now.

Mygazine: a place where you my gazine. Or it’s a place where you read magazines online, for free (I’m not going to go on about something that you have to pay for now am I?). I hope it lasts considering all the copyright issues, because it is pretty useful. Anyway, so they don’t have every single magazine on the planet – I’ve gotten nada on some searches – but they’ve got most of the popular ones. It relies on people scanning in every page of the magazine (yes, there are people who can be arsed to do that). The quality’s not half bad, at least for the ones I’ve read. Everything’s readable, pictures are fine. And it means I can read magazines that I don’t want to pay for, or have never heard of, or that just don’t sell over here.

Stripes.

Sometimes I check when The L Word is showing over here in the UK. Last year, they showed season 4 at around midnight/1-ish in the morning-ish on LivingTV. I didn’t bother watching it then. Maybe, sometime, in the future, I’ll actually watch it properly on a TV. But the times that they air it are getting even more ridiculous. I mean, 3am? Like I’m really going to stay up til 3am to watch a show. I don’t think so. Mind you those are just reruns so maybe the new season will get the lucky time of something like 2am.

I’ve always wanted a Polaroid camera. You take a photo, and it comes out instantly. What’s not to love about that? It’s magic. Now we have boring modern technology where you can use your fancy little USB cables and hook the camera up to the computer, then transfer the photos on to said computer, and then photoshop them or upload them on to Facebook as you please. And where’s the fun in that? It doesn’t make the same clicking and whirring noises as a Polaroid camera now does it?

I watched Juno the other day. It might just be a tad bit overrated though. It’s a good, nice little sweet movie and all, but that’s it, it’s just sweet. Candy cane pie sweet (not that I’ve ever heard of, or eaten candy cane pie. Because I haven’t).
The Harry Potter movie (whatever the next one coming out is called) is coming out next summer instead of later this year. Something about it being because of the writer’s strike. But they’ve already finished making the movie so I don’t see what it has to do with that.

Countrysides are weird places. They’re very…clean. Not as clean as places like Singapore (that’s cleaner then any country should be), but still very clean. There’s the blue skies, green grass, rolling hills, the whole shadoodle. As I stood outside and looked at this I half expected a start button to appear on the bottom left corner of my field of vision. It could happen. It could be the new Windows 3D OS. But no, the countryside wasn’t as advanced as that quite yet.

Tegan and Sara are coming out with a video for ‘Call it Off’. Didn’t expect them to choose that song to do a music video to, but meh, hopefully it’s coming out soon.

Never agree to help carry a TV (unless it’s a portable one). They are heavy. Very heavy. Especially those big 100 million inch screen ones.

I don’t know the meaning of mashed potato cakes either. I never even knew they existed until today. I don’t even know what they are. Why call them cakes? They can’t look that much different from just ordinary mashed potatoes can they? You just mould it into the shape of a cake and hey presto there you have one. Or are they completely different then that? Or is it something stupid like mud pie where it’s called ‘mud pie’ but there isn’t really any mud involved. Heck, it’s hardly a pie either. It’s a cake. What’s wrong with normal mashed potatoes anyway? You don’t have to go and make them into cakes. Chocolate cakes are just fine. It’s not like a 5 year old kid is going to say, ‘I want a mashed potato cake for my birthday!’ No, I think mashed potatoes should just stay the way they are. No need for this ‘cake’ business.’

So my being away on holiday (no one’s noticed yet right? Ok, good. I don’t know why that’s good. I just felt like saying good) has caused me to fall behind on everything. Everything. Everything from every day news, to reading everyone’s blogs and board going ons on here, to drinking juice, to eating chocolate, to feeding my sea-monkeys…oh shoot, I haven’t fed my sea-monkeys. When was the last time I fed them? Oh well, I’m sure they’ll live. They’re super sea-monkeys. That’s what I’m calling them.

I think this isolationa-nism is making me a tad bit loopy inside my so called cranium. Pronounced crane-ee-um. I’m sure some medical professor can correct me on my terminologoy. But moving on…

Even though my lack of communication to the outside world has been minimal, I did manage to catch the opening ceremony for the Olympics. And a thought occurred to me while people were flying around like the monkeys from The Wizard of Oz and all these fancy TV screens were popping out like daisies (daisies I tell you, daisies), I’ve never watched an opening ceremony of the Olympics before. Heck, I’ve never even watched the Olympics before. I never realise they’re happening until it’s ended. So my aim for this year, watch some of it. I’ll try and catch the tennis if I can. That’s the only thing I’m willing to watch…I think. Whether I remember or not, well, that’s up to my brain.
Like many other blogs have stated I’m sure, the opening ceremony was ‘Wow, wow. Gee whizz. Golly olly oxen. When is this going to end?’ Well, maybe that last bit was just me. I think the whole of China was in that ceremony, people were coming in left, right, and centre. It was crazy. I like how the commentators had to point out every thing that the Chinese created. They did this, and invented that. I’m surprised they didn’t mention how they were the first people on the moon, or how they started the Renaissance. There are books and websites on these things. I was told about it by my older male sibling (otherwise known as a ‘brother’, ‘hermano’, ‘bruder’ or ‘frère’ to some), he will explain it to me one day.

So since I am away on holiday, I have to watch a movie with my family basically every night. We first watched Memento. Never have I had to think so much while watching a movie before in my life. Remind me never to do that again. It’s a backwards movie. No, they don’t talk backwards. Nor do they walk, jump, or do hopscotch backwards (NB: No hopscothching in the movie). Anyway, the point is, it’s a confusing movie.

Tegan of Tegan and Sara will be on This Just Out with Liz Feldman (AfterEllen) tomorrow (Monday). I’m still hoping both of them will show up. You never know. Pigs can fly…if you put them on an aeroplane that is.

Sunshine, lollypops, and rainbows, da da da bla bla bla bla. Hmm, hmm, hmm…ok I don’t know the rest of the words. Why do I know that song? I’m thinking it was from The Simpsons.

Dinner time! Eating food. Drinking drinks. Sounds about right to me.

In case you aren’t one of those millions people who haven’t seen the new Harry Potter trailer, here it is: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. There are some pictures here, but you’ll probably find some better ones if you Google it.
So unlike the 95.6% of other people watching the movie, I have no idea what’s going to happen in this one. This is because I’ve never read the books but I’ve watched the movies. But I’m guessing the gist of the movie goes, Voldemort, or some other evil thing, tries to kill Harry. And then Harry along with his other little minions, or ‘friends’ as they call them, save the day. All happy ending, except for that one close person to Harry that has to die some time in the movie. It’s all so sad, but what can you do.

The hype surrounding Guitar Hero is crazy. It’s beyond crazy, it’s manical. Is there even such a word as manical? No. That’s how crazy it is. So I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I didn’t see what was so interesting about it, it’s like any other arcade game that you get. But I guess that’s what people like about it, instead of going out to the arcade. you can bring the arcade into your house. I should so be an advertising person thing. Anyway, so instead of splashing out all my non-existent money on the one for the PS3, I opted out and bought it for my DS instead since it was cheaper. Might not be as fun, but I can look like an idiot playing it wherever I am. Whether it be on a bus, a park, or on holiday. It is fun though. And it’s available for basically every games console (including PC). So if you have a chance, give it a go, and be a rockstar. Oh, and if you ever get it for DS, change the grip and make your own.

Pink’s got a new, so far untitled, album coming out on 28th October. First single’s called ‘So What’ which will premiere some time this month. I only started liking her since her most recent album, ‘I’m Not Dead’, so hopefully she won’t go downhill from there for me.
Snow Patrol have also got a new album coming out called ‘A Hundred Million Suns’ some time in October as well. And in the mean time, I’m still watching Rachel Shelley’s performance of ‘Run’ and still have no idea where it’s from.

Nadal is officially going to be the World No. 1 tennis player on 18th August. Djokovic defeated Nadal, in the ATP Cincinnati semi-final match 6-1, 7-5, which means Murray will be facing him in the final. They’ve played each other 4 times now, and each time Djokovic’s won. And the last time he won, he did so in straight sets – 6-0, 6-4. So I think we all know who’s going to win.

My birthday’s soon! Ok, it’s really not that soon. It’s far. Far away. But I know what I want for once. And that is rare. Rare indeed. Ok. 2 things. Well, 3 things, but the third is stupid and I would never actually get it unless I was a millionaire. First up: Lego Agents. Saw them in a shopping centre the other day, and I want them. Not all of them. That would be weird. And expensive. But they do look pretty cool. Second present: a Stitch soft toy. Disney toys are the best. I’ve got 2 Tiggers and they’re the best. Speaking of Tiggers, third not-actually-going-to-get present: Super Giant Soft Toy Tigger. Now, before you get excited, it’s not really that ’super giant’. I mean, it’s big, but not lifesize super giant big. Unless you’re a 5 year old kid. Then it’s big. Oh, and fourth present I’ve just decided to add on: The Ultimate Hoody I wouldn’t mind having either.